i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
