So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
