guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
