I'm gonna have a badass scar
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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