She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
