The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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