I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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