No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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