Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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