Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
