evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
