Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
