Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
