Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
