It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
