Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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