he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
