dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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