Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
