I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
