...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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