I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
