what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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