Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
