So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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