Four minutes until I can fart!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
