38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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