she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
