fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
