Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
