I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
