Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my sisters under your porch take her home
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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