It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
