Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
