we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
we should paint friendship bongs
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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