we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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