I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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