but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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