Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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