How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
