just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
