I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Ketchup is God's man juice
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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