she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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