He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
