For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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