Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
