I wish my penis had an off switch
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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