also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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