Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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