SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
